Painting My Spirit Gold

These past two weeks or so since my last post have been a whirlwind.

Dan and I have both finished our jobs, had goodbye parties with our coworkers, packed up our apartment, dropped the cats off with Dan’s parents, and officially moved out of our apartment and city yesterday (8/30/2015).  I feel like everything moved so quickly that I didn’t even have time to think or to take in what was happening.  Now that I’m sitting here unemployed and without a home of our own, I have finally been able to reflect on everything.

I’m still feeling somewhat numb and I thought it was because of everything we had to do in the last 2 weeks.  There were moments these past couple of weeks that I feel really sad, confused, and there definitely were tears but I was really expecting this huge moment where I sob for hours and just want to listen to a Boyz to Men song or something.  I’m still waiting for this moment because it just seems so unlike me not to have a total breakdown and I just know if it happens now I will be a total train wreck.  I’m thinking it will probably happen on the plane to Colombia and I will totally freak out the person sitting next to me.

After having the time to go on a nice run and bike ride this morning and having some time to really think, what I’m realizing is that I have had and will continue to have closure and time.  Considering all of the things that I was sad to leave (not in any particular order); my job and coworkers, apartment, cats, family, friends, and Chicago in general; I’ve had a very good amount of time enjoying them and plenty of time to say goodbye to them.  Dan and I also planned for a month in-between leaving the city and leaving for Colombia so that we wouldn’t be rushing out the door.

In regards to my job and coworkers, I told everyone 2 months in advance which really helped this process. During my last week, I felt like I was leaving everything at a good place.  I had time to tell my students, spend time training my current and new coworkers, and have not one, but TWO awesome nights out with my work family.

As for my apartment, it didn’t even really feel like mine anymore after the cats left and all our stuff had been moved out.  Moving everything out a few days ahead of time but spending the next three nights there really helped me come to terms with the fact that we wouldn’t be living there anymore.  Dan and I had a great night there ordering sushi, drinking, talking on the roof, sleeping on the floor – it was a proper sendoff. Something about living there for three days without any of our stuff weirdly made me not want to be there (even though it was our decision).

Seeing my cats in their new home with Dan’s parents is really helping me feel better about leaving them for a year.  Each time we have dropped them off here, I haven’t seen how comfortable they are right away.  I selfishly want them to be with us but after seeing them here, they will be very happy and I should be glad for them.  They have so much room to run around, can actually look out a window for once, and will be very well cared for.  Being at Dan’s parents house with them for a couple of weeks before we leave will really help this transition.

I’m also really glad that we have this month or so to spend some uninterrupted time with our families. In the past 10 years or so since I went to college, it is so rare to spend more than a long weekend together minus a few random vacations. I’m really looking forward to having this time together with both families before not seeing them for a very long time.

Now, the icing on the cake regarding all of this, was the last day we spent in Chicago with our best friends.  They planned easily the funnest, weirdest, most memorable day I’ve ever had in Chicago and maybe ever! Framily Day of Fun consisted of all of the best things about Chicago and our group of friends all packed into one day.

Our day started like this:                                   And ended like this:

  

In the middle there was a delicious breakfast, fanny packs, visors, an electric boat ride on the river, figuring out how to pee on the electric boat in the middle of the Chicago river, drinks at the Signature Room at the top of the John Hancock, the gift of music and the best rendition of “We are Never Getting Back Together” by TSwift, a bit of crying and talking about feelings, dinner and drinks at Howells and Hood, drinks, music, and dancing at our old hang-out Celtic Crossing, fireball shots at Clark Street Ale House, and ending the night in our apartment saying goodbye.  Only our friends are this awesome to plan such a perfect day that was quintessentially Chicago, reliving old memories, and making new ones.  Even though the hangover was one for the books, spending this day with our friends and in our city was just the perfect way to go out.  I was just so happy with how we spent our last day that it gave me a feeling of closure and acceptance knowing that we forever-ever-ever will have Chicago.

I remember when you moved in The first time

Saying this is it we’re city kids Cuz like

We ran around Chicago all those months

Now you Say you’re heading South Que?

Summer comes around again we say Chicago, we love you and we swear we’re gonna stay

Remember how that lasted for a day? We say, winter, we hate you, like, seriously, no screw you.

Ohhh, you’re calling it off for good this time But ooohh, this time we’re telling you we’re telling you

We forever ever ever, will have Chicago (x2)

We’ll still have kabuki, nights in old town, but NOT DUFFYS Cuz

We forever ever ever will have Chicago, Like forever

I’m really gonna miss Dan and Bry Guy, Christie singing for us all those drunken nights

But go, fly away and find your peace of mind

Just don’t find new friends cuz you’re already mine

Ohhh you’re calling it off for good this time But ohhhh This time We’re telling you we’re telling you

We forever ever ever Will have Chicago (x2)

We’ll still have the lakeshore, Kingston mines but not DUFFYS

Cuz we for ever ever ever will have Chicago

We can still have our group house to gether gether

And to robots, we’ll never say never…….

Ughh so when we miss you we’ll just call you up and be like ‘we still love you’

And when you get homesick you know like you can always remember framily day like, forever

We forever ever ever, will have Chicago (x2)

You still have Fiona, little Salsa, two kitties cuz we forever ever ever will have Chicago

Lyrics: Megan

Instrumentals: Alex

Vocals: Rebecca, Matt, Alex, Megan